Recently I was sent an article that on first blush seemed fairly balanced. The subject, as always these days, was “healthcare reform.” After a fine jaunt through how state governments have determined the shape, objectives and nature of the health care industry since World War II, calling it a “classic government-sponsored cartel,” the author finally got down to business. Apparently I am an “ilk.” He says, “None of this justifies what President Obama and his ilk call healthcare ‘reform.’” Additionally I am a demagogue, sanctimonious and rail against things.
The person who sent the article to me suggested that I think outside the mental box I have apparently crept into. So, in the spirit of tri-partisan compromise, I have given this some serious thought.

I intend to form a new, third political party. It will be called the “Ilk Party” and will, like all parties, have a motto: “The Ilk of Human Kindness.” The Ilks will have many objectives, but it will begin campaigning for healthcare for all citizens, Ilks and non-Ilks alike. We will have as our vision, items definitively contained in the Constitution: “All Ilks are created equal” and “We the Ilks,… will provide for the common welfare,” and so on.

Parties need clubs, so I expect that along side Rotarians and Moose, there will be an Ilks Club whose charitable objectives will be in line with our new Party. We Ilks have counterparts: the Bilks. For example, Bilks seem to think that healthcare should be a free market industry, in other words the status quo.

Bilks don’t want governmental bureaucracy. They evidently prefer unfair business practice bilking instead. When a legitimate claim is rejected or stonewalled on some small print technicality, the insured gets Bilked. Bilking is well known in the free trade business. Being poor is a result of bad decisions, as the mantra goes, so their ilk can’t be bilked. They are simply being punished for not choosing a non-bilking insurance company. We Ilks know,however, the only unBilkable insurance would be the Public Option.

And so, fellow Ilks, let’s un-Bilk, cut the imbilkical cord and march forward. For our Bilking friends: please get help. There is a cure for you, a twelve step program called Bilkaholics Anonymous.